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And that's how I found myself on Tinder one tired night using a bowl of frozen carrots and yucky yoghurt dip (ice-cream is for the movies. Reality is made up of sluggish metabolism and calories that appear to multiply like clostridium perfringens) and a friend who had taken the night off from motherhood to remind herself that despite all its incoherent grunts, nose hair-singeing farts and other general disgustingness, union was better than internet dating. Real Backpage Girl Spoiler alert: The carrots and Back Page Escorts yucky dip were the best aspect of the night.
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